Back out on the job market again.

I gotta say, no actual part of me wants to work a regular job.

I'd much rather strike out on my own. That's always been more my style.

If I end up doing that, I'll let you all know.

I'm really proud of the Friday Night Funkin community for getting so huge and well known, but unfortunately it's had the very-much-expected effect of causing some problems in the community.

Communities always have this issue that the more massive and appealing that they get, the more likely they're going to start to draw attention from sketchy people and people with bad intentions. It happens all the time; look at League of Legends, Overwatch, Undertale, etc.

Because like, FNF is SO well known at this point.

I just hope the creators manage to not acknowledge the toxic fans and just keep doing the thing they're passionate about because they are doing a phenomenal job so far.

Far from perfect. Just trying to survive.

Hey, I'm not all gloom. I've just spent way too much time being negative and I'm honestly just glad I still have a roof over my head. I don't know how long my situation will hold out, so I'll just enjoy it while it lasts.

I have so much more I'd rather be doing but being in a difficult financial position makes getting things done a real pain.

I'm relieved to finally have a job again, but it's wearing me down a lot physically and emotionally.

On top of that I've had new stuff hitting me that's unrelated but has me worried for people.

I hope everything works out. Right now, this is a mess.

My motivation is extremely low.

If I can manage to make anything worth looking at, I'll probably start posting it to my Patreon before I bring it to Newgrounds.

I've got some projects in the works but I'm still tossing some variables around including what software to use.

What a mess, right?

Not linking the Patreon yet there's nothing there.

Depression is really kicking my ass.

I'll still try to come around but my self doubt and self loathing really reached it's peak in the last few weeks.

I hope anyone reading this is doing better than me.

Some serious stuff going on.

Thinking about Nashville, and I was really surprised on Reddit when I started getting harassed by some alt-right guy. Made me wonder if there's some connection I'm not seeing.

I think he was banned pretty quickly afterward, I can't seem to find his comment anymore. It was your typical anti-vax stance stuff, a guy who had never even seen the inside of a hospital. Someone who can't understand the seriousness of the COVID.

But it's freakier than that. I found and reported a sparely populated subreddit frequented by White Supremacists. Fuck, dude. Some things you're better off not knowing. Already forwarded the information to Reddit admins in case this is a bigger problem than I thought.

I scanned the posts and I figured out pretty quickly that it was a White Nationalist subreddit. You know how you can tell how racist people are by saying things like "Anglo-centric" and the like? Yeah, lots of language like that.

I know this has nothing to do with Newgrounds I just need people to understand how serious this is, and I came across it by accident.

I know, I know, WAY too many status updates in a row. I'm sorry about that.

A lot's going on because of the holiday season.

I actually have a ton of music. I think there's a fair bit of it that's actually unreleased, wherever else the other music has gotten to.

I'm sorry these status updates always come at weird hours too. I've been having some pretty weird problems as of late with my schedule, being more productive late at night and early in the morning.

Anyway just in case something big happens, I hope you all have a wonderful Holiday Season.

I'm not sure how to feel. I'm gonna try and stay active despite how bad the situation is.

I'm basically living off of my credit right now. As a favor to people who have never done that before; don't. It can seriously hurt your credit score and makes it a lot harder to get more credit cards in the future.

But I don't really have a choice in the matter.

I saw something that actively improved my mood over the last 24 hours and it made it possible to drag myself out of my emotional slump and try to focus on things again. Job search is still a dead end until I hear back from my potential employer.

Until then, it's a waiting game. An awful, uncomfortable, waiting game.

The money crunch I'm feeling from my lack of work is really starting to affect me and my family in a bad way.

I think I'm going to have to lay low for a while until this... "stimulus" thing comes through, considering I haven't had any real work in at least two months.

Sorry to have to bring you all bad news. I'm really not in a good place right now.

I need to focus on this or we'll be in even worse shape.