Man, I don't know what to say. Work sucks. I feel like I've made a terrible mistake.

I went back into what I'd easily call the "tried and true" route to employment, which is basically just taking an awful retail job and just trying to make it work despite being paid almost literal pennies to stay alive. It keeps the lights on, but it makes me feel like I'm dying. At this point it's almost literal, because I almost didn't make it through my last shift.

I can't even categorize an emotion for this post; so I'll just leave it blank. It's kind of like realizing how much time you've been wasting and for how long. I've tried the flying solo thing but I lack the confidence to use anything I've learned to make any real money. You don't realize how hard things like that are until you actually try.

Progress on pretty much all of my creative projects has halted, including some stuff I was relatively excited about. There's just no time or energy. My job robbed me of that; and it's still robbing me. It's still basically killing me.

I've started to reach out to some people that might be able to help me figure out what it is I really want to do with my life. Because right now? This ain't it chief, I feel like a shell of my former self.

"Hey how often do you change your profile picture?"

I don't change it for long periods of time because I'm extremely lazy as an artist.

While I love writing, game design, programming, etc. I have developed a particular distaste for actually drawing things because I'm not nearly passionate enough about it.

If you see art on here by me and it actually looks GOOD then please treasure it, because it's likely to be extremely rare.

In fact, I'm pouring a lot of my effort into making a new website where I'm going to host or link things I've made.

So no worries folks I'm doing alright. At least for now.

I hope you are, too.

I haven't had time to make much music or art because I made the mistake of diving head-first into programming.

At this rate I'll probably become at least kinda good at C++ and C# before the end of the year.

Finishing up one major project, then possibly wrapping up another one in a few months.

All the while my job situation is really weird but hey- I've made it this far, right?

I forgot to mention.

You can use any of the previously uploaded tracks EXCEPT "Mourning" and "Hope".

I'm holding on to those, building up an album with piano music.

Any other songs may be used as long as you credit me as the original creator; whatever you do with them besides that is up to you. I hope you enjoy the music.

It's been a while, huh? I've been busy.

I still haven't found actual "work" work. I'm mostly just doing whatever comes my way.

On the bright side, I finally got a chance to sit down and actually work on all those projects I've been dreaming up over the years. If there are no serious setbacks this time, I might actually create really high quality content that people will actually enjoy. I'm looking forward to that.

Oh, also, most important thing.

I'm going to make every single one of my songs on here downloadable. If people love my music enough to listen to it on a regular basis, who the heck am I to stop them?

I was listening to one of my favorite artists for an extended period of time and I realized something... music is meant to be freely enjoyed. To be open. To be sung from the soul, not something to be held back purely for profit.

F*ck this commercial sh*t.

Oh and I kinda abandoned Haxelflixel for Unity. Sorry about that.

I'm going out of my way to learn the Haxelflixel Engine so I can start uploading games on here.

Mind you that the first few aren't going to be anything too extensive and will probably just be small passion projects based on some ideas I've had over the years.

Despite being easy to compile and read, this Engine's code is still pretty complicated. I expect it will take me at least a week or more to fully understand what the heck it is I'm working with. It's extremely similar in structure to C#, so at least that's not too bad.

"Why Haxeflixel?" Because it's the Engine that Friday Night Funkin was created with and I'm seriously impressed with it's potential. Not only that, it's entirely possible to work miracles with just about any game engine if you know what you're doing. I can really only get better from here; provided I can stay on target and make something meaningful.

I've been doubling down on my programming research. C++, C#, JavaScript, all that nice stuff. If I can manage to get this off the ground, heck, maybe I'll finally set up that website I've been dying to make.

Hope everyone is doing well.

You can really tell Newgrounds is still struggling to handle all of this traffic.

Please become a member of the site if you like what's going on, here.

I kept most of my really important stuff, but yeah.

I'm really starting from scratch here. I still have my music files, my images, and I know where to get all of my programs.

But it's going to be a bit more challenging to get my stuff together and upload anything; on top of that, there's likely to be a lot more new stuff while I'm forced to start over almost completely.

Back out on the job market again.

I gotta say, no actual part of me wants to work a regular job.

I'd much rather strike out on my own. That's always been more my style.

If I end up doing that, I'll let you all know.